Everybody asked me why did I let someone that I've been waiting for go. The reason is, because I realize that my life was actually so much better than when he was mine. I had good scores, my girl-best friends cared of me, and most of all, I had a boy-best friend which is very kind and supportive. Call him Mr. X. When we were 6th graders we didn't know each other very well, but when we were 7th graders, we were so close. I knew his secrets, and he knew mine. I told him everything about my feelings, and he told me his too. We really cared about each other feelings. The other people were expecting us to be a couple. But we weren't, we were just best friends, and I enjoy being just best friends, because I actually had no feeling for him and he had no feeling for me too. But, after the one that I've liked since the 3rd grade told me that he liked me, everything changed. Mr. X became a little bit more sensitive. We stopped talking to each other for months. Until now, I'm still expecting that one day he will text me first and we can talk like we used to.
About the person that I liked for 3 years, I really did love him 100%, but did he really love me? At first, he liked me 100% too, but as the time gone by he only liked me 90%, and before we broke up, he told me he only liked me for about 70%. Can you imagine it? It was not about how much his feeling for me. I was just sad because I realize, that every little thing that he did to me, made me love him even more, and there was nothing I can do to make him love me more than that. So, the reason I broke up is, I'm tired. I'm tired of being sad because of those things. Since the first time I said yes, I've got a thought that he was just told me that he liked me to make me happy, but actually he didn't. I asked him about that, he said that wasn't true. Well, I didn't know should I believe him or not. Well, but it was over.
Now, everybody keep asking if I still like him. Hmm, actually we haven't totally over yet, we still like each other. But I don't know if his feeling is real. I'm trying to forget about my feeling for him. I still keep the memories. All the capture-it of our conversations, his photos, and others. But I never open it again, I'm just too lazy to delete them. I've actually forgot about him, but I haven't forgot the pain I had. My heart has been broken, there's a permanent scar in my heart, and it makes me realize that next time, I have to be more careful of letting anyone come into my heart. To the person that has asked about my condition, this is my answer: I'll be alright, just not today.
Tidak ada komentar:
Posting Komentar